Just Harold being Harold

Due to certain tendencies that I have and always have had, staying with interests for very long is something that I don’t do well. I go all in or do deep dives on something, and then just as quickly move on to the next thing that catches my attention.

That’s even if they are working great. 

About how I am feeling some days!

When I get bored with something, I move on because I am bored, not because it doesn’t work for me. Most of the systems and things I use work fine. That part of the equation doesn’t work the same for me and doesn’t enter into that final “snap” decision that I am apt to make.

Need the Challenge

No, when I make a change, it is for that feeling of challenge and excitement that building new systems or using new things gives me that I enjoy.

Especially, in my dealings with computers and technology. 

The only thing that has been a constant is that I am constantly changing direction. 

I’m aware that my tendencies aren’t unique, and I have found out too many times, despite my best efforts, eventually shit just happens. Unless, professional responsibilities or IT, dictated to use of certain tools, software, or apps. Even then, I would find ways to bend the rules, so I could make changes and have fun. I often managed to get involved with beta testing or looking wherever I worked.

That is no longer an issue.

Now, that I have retired and don’t have those professional limits in place, my tendency to bounce from tech silos and multiple apps has been like a big snowball going downhill. 

Snowball Effect

Yep, I find something, set it up, and figure out the best way to make it work for me. Use it until I get bored and move on to whatever comes next. The old tear things down and build up new systems or routines in the new thing.  

It seems that as soon as I find one app that I like, a day or a week later I find another app that seems even better than the one I am using currently and move on to that one. 

This year, that cycle is almost at an exponential rate of change. The idea that there are learning curves, time, and effort needed to rebuild all the stuff that I have torn down again, means absolutely nothing to me. 

Odd Way to Have Fun

The thing is that I am enjoying myself.

I must admit it is an odd way to have fun, but…if this is the direction my mind is taking me. I am going to have to start writing about my experiences with these various apps and systems that I am building, and experimenting with before I tear it all down and start again.

Instead of suddenly announcing – that I have left such and such app or ideology for a different one, without any discussion about why. Then leave me and anyone who reads what I have done scratching their heads, wondering what happened to last week’s wonderful whatever.

There usually is a why, but I don’t discover what it is until after I’ve already torn everything down or when I want to go back to that app or system in the future. Then do everything all over – again.

This is what I have done for so long that I hardly even notice when I am doing it anymore. It is almost like someone else (who enjoys watching or helping me sabotage any progress I have made) pulls the strings at times, and then I have to go back and pick up the pieces.

Ready, Do, Think

I am working on this personal challenge and while I can see more clearly what is happening or what happened. I haven’t reached the point where I can slow myself down enough to quell the “Ready, Do, then Think” method, which still happens all too often. 

If you are reading along and suddenly, I am doing something different from what I was doing a few posts ago, please bear with me. While I am getting better at recognizing what is going on, I still have a long ways to go.

Looking For Answers

At some point this Fall, I hope to have a few more answers to questions I have about myself.

While all this is part of Harold being Harold, it is also no longer sustainable at this point in my life. I have started to recognize that some things are not how they are supposed to be and have life be a little less “Interesting”. 

Yep, I am preparing you for another swing in directions that I did recently. Can you tell that I’m getting tired of the constant changing of directions too? Now, to get this stuff to at least reasonable levels of change, this exponential stuff is too much – even for me.

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